Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One: Immediate Concerns (Part One)
Raha Torabi
There are many emotions associated with the death of a loved one. These feelings, however, do not preclude the need to do the administrative work that comes with dealing with the Estate of your loved one. The best option at this point is to break down the process and take it step-by-step.
The immediate concerns of dealing with an estate are the most difficult. The emotions from the loss are still raw and can leave you, as the survivor, overwhelmed with all the things that need to be done. Remember that you do not need to go through the process alone and should seek out assistance from family members, church advisors, social workers, accountants, attorneys and other professionals to assist you in all aspects of the grieving process and administering the Estate.
Notify family, friends and organizations
Funeral arrangement costs
The next big question on a survivor’s mind is cost. The financial burden that follows the death of a loved one can be quite large. The first thing you need to do is check to see if there are any arrangements already set in place for the funeral. These arrangements can often be found in the person’s will, safety deposit box or any other place that the deceased kept personal belongings. Sometimes they are retained by the preparing attorney or filed at the County Clerk’s office or a medical directive registry.
In the event that there are no plans, you must be prepared to pay for the funeral, as many funeral homes require the payment upfront for the services. In some cases, payment from the estate assets is an option. This can be discussed with your attorney to determine if there would be enough in the estate assets to provide the funeral home assurance of payment. This, however, may not be an option in cases where time is of the essence, so the best option is to be prepared to pay for the arrangements and keep this in mind when making any funeral arrangements.
Making the arrangements
An essential decision when planning a funeral is how the deceased would like to be placed to rest. While many assume burial as the option, a vast majority of people prefer cremation. Once the decision has been made, you should start off by checking for any previously purchased burial plots, crypts or instructions regarding the ashes final destination. Many people have already designated agents whom they have chosen to deal with their funeral arrangements. These documents are usually kept with the Will documents.
If there are no plans or preferences expressed, then it is your job to decide what option is best for your loved one and begin making the necessary arrangements accordingly. Don’t feel pressured to go through this alone. Consult with close family and friends to discuss what you feel would have been in the best personal and financial interest of your loved ones and surviving family members.
Common issues
The main area of misconception is the Power of Attorney after death. This document is only valid while the Principal (the person who is giving the power) is alive. Upon death this power is revoked and the responsibilities are given to the executor of the will or estate.
Some steps that may fall under the radar because they are not intertwined with the funeral and burial arrangements involve the deceased’s home, car and financial accounts. While some financial institutions may receive notice of death, it is best to notify them of the account holder’s passing so that they may freeze the account as well as any charges or interests that may accrue without payment. Most banks freeze the account upon notice of death, keeping your loved ones money safe.
It is also necessary to secure the home and any vehicles owned by your loved one. Not only to maintain the property for future sale or inheritance, but also to keep from any theft or damage to the property.
Keep in mind that securing all property and notifying all creditors (including monthly bills like phone, cable and electricity) will make the administration of the estate move smoothly and quickly both on your end and for all professionals involved in the process.
After the funeral
While the funeral planning is complete, there are still many other things to deal with that require lots of paperwork and even complicated calculations based on the estate. This is a good time to employ an Estate Attorney, Accountant and other professionals whom you may retain to assist you with the probate and distribution of the Estate.
There are many things that these professionals can assist with, from preparing and filing a petition for probate to the court, assisting you in any disbursements that need to be made from the estate, interpreting the will provisions, assisting with the estate inventory and accounting and even postponing payment to any creditors until estate assets are available to do so.
Take the time to heal
Throughout this process, emotions run high and important decisions can be affected by such emotions. Remember to take the time to reflect and allow yourself to grieve your unfortunate loss. Remember that the professionals that you employ are there to help you, are able to provide an impartial, experienced opinion and are there to assist you with the “paperwork” associated with the death. So don’t go through it alone, recruit your family and friends to assist you in all aspects and obtain the services of a professional for areas beyond your abilities.1
1Colgan, Mark, The Survivor Assistance Handbook, Plan Your Legacy, LLC, Pittsford NY, 2009
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