Ethical Will

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What Is An Ethical Will?
Why write an ethical will?
Where did this practice come from?
How do I write one?
How do I convey it?
Recommended Reading
Collecting your thoughts ….some ideas to get you started

What Is An Ethical Will?

We are more than the sum of our material possessions. We have more to share with future generations than an inheritance. An ethical will leaves your life experiences, your beliefs, your traditions, your hopes and your love to future generations. It can be a handwritten letter, a video or a more formal presentation on will paper.

It is a complement to a “legal” will that disposes of your worldly possessions. They were common attachments to wills of inheritance in medieval and renaissance periods. There is a recent revival in this tradition in the past decade.
It is a legacy of your values - share values, beliefs, hopes for the future, life’s lessons
It is not a traditional legal document, rather, it is like a letter from a relative you never knew and evokes feelings of connection with ancestors
Ask forgiveness of others or offer forgiveness of others
Share family stories to link the past with future generations

Why write an ethical will?

We step back and reflect on what we stand for and what we value most in our lives. It is a spiritual experience of exploring the life you would like to lead and an examination of your personal journey on that path. Oftentimes, it is a process that opens the door to healing relationships and forgiveness. It helps us to affirm our past and create a positive future.

Your journey of writing an ethical will is a personal examination of the following:

The most important thing to me in life is X. On a daily basis, am I living this ideal? Am I falling short? What does X mean to me? Is it really as important to me as I thought?
Do I need to make some changes to stay on the path of life I want to lead and the example I want to set for my loved ones?
What are some of the stories about my ancestors that have been carried down to me? Have I taken the opportunity to share them with my children and grandchildren? How can I help my children and grandchildren to share those stories with their children and grandchildren?
Does the answer to “what will be said at my funeral” match the answer to “what do I want to be said at my funeral?” If not, what changes can I make in my life to make them the same?

Where did this practice come from?

Biblical references viewed as examples of ethical wills include Genesis 49, Deuteronomy 32 and 33, and John X. Hebrew scriptures referred to them as tzava’ah and they were verbally transmitted.

How do I write one?

There is no single way – use your own personal style and tone in writing it. You may write it in essay or letter form (or even by video or DVD if you want to get fancy). You may choose to use topic headings, but they are not necessary. It need not be long, just heartfelt. It can be handwritten or typed.

Our clients often appreciate having their handwritten ethical wills transformed into a document that may be preserved for many generations on special paper and with fancy writing. We are able to offer this non-legal service along with will preparation. The cost is $40 for up to a five page document, covering the costs of the special paper and secretarial services to type in the text.

Here are some starters suggested in the reference texts in the "Recommended Reading" Section below.

To my family:
To my dearest family:
Dear ______:
To the people who are most important to me:
As I think about my life, I want to tell you about some of …..
Think of me when you………

How do I convey it?

You decide when it is right to convey it to loved ones. Some prefer to present it soon after writing it. Others review and revise it over time and chose to give it after their death as an accompaniment your will of inheritance. Some do both, present it during their lifetime and another loving message accompanying their will of inheritance.

Collecting your thoughts ….some ideas to get you started*

This is the world from which I came…What is your personal history? (Family tree and family history)

These are the mistakes that I regret having made the most and hope you will not repeat…

Critical decisions I’ve made throughout my life ; events and people that helped shape my life and our family…..Were you glad you made them? Would you have done differently in retrospect?

I devote my time to activities such as …

What things/events/people had the biggest impact on who I am as a person…

I am the proudest of ….

My favorite sayings are, sayings in our family are…..

What I’ve learned from life…..

What I’ve learned from you…..

What my blessings are for you…..

Spiritual ideas, things I value, things I believe in….

What my dreams are for you….

Something I am grateful for…

Critical decisions you’ve made throughout your life

Were you glad you made them?

Would you have done differently in retrospect?

only had a small time left on earth, I would…

What will be said at my funeral ….

I devote my time to activities such as….

What things had the biggest impact on who I am as a person…

I am the proudest of ….

My favorite sayings are…

As I think about my life, I want to tell you about some of …..

Think of me when you………

* These suggestions were taken from the Recommended Reading Materials.